Nothing could stop these women, not even their clothes
How mad would you have to be to fight someone on the road in the middle of a set for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot? How mad would you have to be to keep fighting even after a whole minute of not landing one single punch? Oh, and did we mention, your whole everything will be out on display for all the deer, opossums, and homicidal maniacs to see?
Imagine fighting through all that. I know it wouldn’t be me, but it absolutely was these two women. The fight kicked off after the smaller of the two women apparently cut the blonde-haired woman off on the road. The video starts out with the two jawing at each other over the driving infraction.
While it’s unclear where the shorter woman in the shiny jacket left her car, she’s leaning over the blonde-haired woman and daring her to start something. When the blonde tries to say that she got into her lane, the woman leans in even closer, causing the blonde to scoot out past her and get ready to fight.
The lane-changer tries to say something smart, something about being all the way in the other woman’s car (never mind a lane), but she’s cut off by a hand darting out and wrapping around her throat.
The blonde woman appears to have the upper hand, what with all the choking noises, but it doesn’t last long. Shorty McShinyjacket lands punch after punch after punch with no return coming from the provocatively dressed blonde. At some point, the tiny one manages to rip away blondie’s barely-there outfit, exposing her to the elements of East Jesus Nowhere.
The blonde gets the shiny jacket wearer onto the ground and onto her back but still can’t seem to get control of the situation. The tiny one continues to rain down punches even from the ground. She’s so busy being punched, she doesn’t seem to realize she’s lost her top. The cameraman is clearly a friend of hers as he keeps the focus off of her unmentionables while still recording the fight for posterity.
The fighters both get back up and start to fall toward the car. The small one lands more punches, even as the big one continues to manhandle her. And then the video cuts out. It would be hard to call a winner even if we’d seen more of the fight. The blonde woman seemed to be in control of the other one the entire time, even if she never actually landed a punch. The little one hit her opponent many, many times, but it didn’t seem to have much effect.
This would be a tough call in a regular, everyday fight that we got all the way to the end of. Cutting out as it does just when things started to get good makes it impossible to declare either woman the victor.
It’s like my gamgam used to say, “Nobody wins in a ta-tas out fight on the side of Cletusville’s only road.” I didn’t know what she meant then. I thought she was just mysterious (or drunk). But I damn sure get it now.
Check out the video up top. What do you think? Who won? Could you ever be mad enough about a lane change to fight topless in the middle of nowhere? Sound off down in the comments and don’t forget to SHARE this article.