Welcome to the worst party ever.
What happens when an entire house party is full of people who watch too many Worldstar videos? Something like this goofy video of people throwing down all throughout a cheaply constructed townhouse.
The video of various fights breaking out in every room in the house — with all the random nonsense drunkanese and dudebro posturing you’ve come to expect — would be funny enough. But the fact that the kids are asleep so the fighters are constantly being reminded to keep it down adds a cosmic level of ridiculousness to the whole affair.
The video starts with a bear of a man with a goofy voice warning someone not to mess with him. Big dude is standing outside on the porch of his own house and yelling at the folks inside while everyone around shushes him. Some random shirtless dude steps up to him in the doorway and gets rightfully smacked. It’s about the last time that Brother Bear will be in the right, however.
Before we get into it, though here’s a random PROTIP. If you’re at a party, and there’s no music and some dude is shirtless, leave. That party is lame and nothing good can come of hanging around there. It’s going to devolve into half-assed philosophy or a fight. Either way, get out while you can.
Now that that’s out of the way, back to the main event. The dudes square up in the hallway with Bear asking over and over again whether Sir Shirtless wants to “test these waters.” It’s a line that clearly sounded better in his own drunken head and he keeps antagonizing the dude with the clear hope of ending up on Worldstar. He even reveals his Worldstar plans to the cameramen who jump between telling Bear to lay off and egging on fights for their video.
Eventually, Shirtless heads downstairs. Bear follows him and yawps him a few good times on the landing. He never really attempts to fight back. He just takes a beating. Given all the lead-up, it’s sort of a letdown.
Luckily, there’s another fight brewing. The two women who kept jumping in between the men when their fight seemed imminent end up grappling on the kitchen floor. It never really moves on from their but at least they are both participating. The repeated mention of the cops being called finally seems to snap folks out of their Backyard Wrestling mindset, even while the cameramen discuss their plans to upload the videos to Worldstar and share their YouTube handles for people who want to see house fights.
Watch the Video
Watch the clip up top and try to keep it together over all the shushing. And maybe you can help us with a few questions. Why was dude so down to square up and flex in someone else’s house? Especially since it looks like he didn’t actually want to fight? And why did he think the landing was a good spot to make a stand? Has Worldstar reached the point where it’s the cause of fights and not just the host of them?
On another level, is this the worst party ever? Have you been to worse? Where do you stand on unnecessary shirtlessness?
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