This Guy Just Turned His Arrest Into A Damn Comedy Act

at 12:40 pm | By

All cops are bootyholemen

If you’re going to jail, you aren’t going to be able to hit up the local watering holes for at least a weekend. That means you’re losing a chance to hone your skills at the various open mics that get booked after a DJ says he’s busy. So, if the cops have you and you’re going away, you might as well use that time to try out your solid five minutes.

That’s what this man did, refusing to let the fact that he’s getting arrested get in the way of his 10,000 hours. He did that by simply refusing to stop making jokes, even after he was tased. He just had to keep in mind that old adage: ACAB (All Cops Are Bootyholemen).

Our soon-to-be-incarcerated comic starts his crowd work from jump, walking toward the man who wants to bring him in, while refusing to admit that he was caught.

“I just want you to know, you ain’t get me. I got you,” he said. “That’s tiring. I’m hot.” As he laid down on the pavement, he erred on the side of caution in case things get kinky. “My safe word is ‘pineapple juice,’” he said. “We gonna take pictures?”

When the bounty hunter asked him to bring his ankles up to his butt, he had to stop halfway and admit that he doesn’t stretch. “That’s how far I go!” he yelled with his feet in the air. “You think I’m in Pilates?”

Eventually, the bounty hunter handcuffed the man. While he searched the man on the ground, the man continued to joke about what was in his pockets.

“That’s my change!” he yelled as quarters spilled on the ground. “Do you know how long it took me to acquire those? Some of those are limited-edition.”

As his pockets are searched, he starts to ask the bounty hunter some probing questions. “Every strong man got a sensitive side,” he said. “You into weird sh*t? What’s your safe word?”

The dude did realize — after having his pockets searched and his shoes removed — that he was going away for quite a while. So, he thought it was time to start planning for the future.

“Real talk, though. In my car, I got snacks,” he said. “Would you mind getting my snacks for me?”

funny arrest patty mayo

Source: YouTube/Patty Mayo

Comments
Share