All cops are bootyholemen
If you’re going to jail, you aren’t going to be able to hit up the local watering holes for at least a weekend. That means you’re losing a chance to hone your skills at the various open mics that get booked after a DJ says he’s busy. So, if the cops have you and you’re going away, you might as well use that time to try out your solid five minutes.
That’s what this man did, refusing to let the fact that he’s getting arrested get in the way of his 10,000 hours. He did that by simply refusing to stop making jokes, even after he was tased. He just had to keep in mind that old adage: ACAB (All Cops Are Bootyholemen).
Our soon-to-be-incarcerated comic starts his crowd work from jump, walking toward the man who wants to bring him in, while refusing to admit that he was caught.
“I just want you to know, you ain’t get me. I got you,” he said. “That’s tiring. I’m hot.” As he laid down on the pavement, he erred on the side of caution in case things get kinky. “My safe word is ‘pineapple juice,’” he said. “We gonna take pictures?”
When the bounty hunter asked him to bring his ankles up to his butt, he had to stop halfway and admit that he doesn’t stretch. “That’s how far I go!” he yelled with his feet in the air. “You think I’m in Pilates?”
Eventually, the bounty hunter handcuffed the man. While he searched the man on the ground, the man continued to joke about what was in his pockets.
“That’s my change!” he yelled as quarters spilled on the ground. “Do you know how long it took me to acquire those? Some of those are limited-edition.”
As his pockets are searched, he starts to ask the bounty hunter some probing questions. “Every strong man got a sensitive side,” he said. “You into weird sh*t? What’s your safe word?”
The dude did realize — after having his pockets searched and his shoes removed — that he was going away for quite a while. So, he thought it was time to start planning for the future.
“Real talk, though. In my car, I got snacks,” he said. “Would you mind getting my snacks for me?”
Is it real?
The clip, which has spread quickly around social media, comes from the YouTube account called Patty Mayo. The YouTuber claims to be a bounty hunter, but the theatrical nature of many of his arrests puts that fact in doubt. While Mayo hasn’t broken kayfabe yet, it’s almost definitely a staged show for the benefit of his viewing audience.
His series Southland Bounty Hunters has run for four seasons on the video-streaming platform and more than a few of his arrestees have a habit of turning up on IMDB.
Watch the Clip
Real or not, at least this latest episode was entertaining, but don’t try this in real life. Check out the clip up top and let us know what you think.
Is Southland Bounty Hunters real or just an elaborate scripted YouTube series? Should Patty Mayo tell viewers the truth if he is not a bounty hunter? Do you wish that you could talk like this to cops in your day-to-day life?
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